T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
a creature was stirring, it was that damn mouse.
Just look on the floor, the jelly and jam,
Oh no, he ate all our sliced Smithfield ham.
Next thing you know he’ll climb into our laps.
Well not if I set all these super big traps.
Now, one for the kitchen and one for the hall,
And one for the closet, I’m having a ball.
She said: “Maybe you’re just a little too cruel.
You’re not really following the good Golden Rule.”
And I said: “You may think I’m a little uncouth,
But an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.
We’ve nothing short of a full-scale invasion.
The traps are fitting for such an occasion.
Just go to bed, honey, I’ll take it from here.”
But second thoughts soon rang in my ear.
An alternate approach perhaps was required.
Though now I was feeling a little bit tired.
I’ll just have to rest ’til I’m rightly inspired
I locked all the doors and promptly retired.
No sugar plum fairies, just wrestling all night.
I must get some sleep before it is light.
There must be an answer, I don’t want to harm it,
So what must I do to stop this vile varmint?
I’ll just take a small drink to clear out my head.
The house was still dark as I climbed out of bed.
No sooner than when my feet hit the ground.
I suddenly heard a most startling sound.
My word, what caused such a terrible whack?
I thought for a moment: “we’re under attack.”
Then smelling a strong smell I could not ignore.
Did someone drop sharp cheddar cheese on the floor?
I must confess I was still in the dark,
Then suddenly my brain just started to spark.
I remembered that timely and terrible list
When I was a kid and things were remiss.
He’s gonna find out who’s naughty or nice,
Bad behavior comes at a perilous price.
I used to think it was just a big joke.
But now it looks as if something did croak.
The pieces were coming together at last.
When I saw it I was simply aghast
For there it was as big as can be,
That malignant mouse lay under the tree.
I knew in a moment I had nothing to fear.
That sneaky old man in the red suit was near.